Sunday, May 28, 2006

Sunday Scribblings {First Love}


He slips into my dreams more often than I care to admit.
I drift off and there he is, just the way I remember him,
just the way I created him in my childlike heart.
I didn't really know him, really,
but I loved him,
I loved him because children do that,
they love fully and without questioning.
I loved him because I didn't know any other way of being.
I loved him without reason and without sensibility.
I loved him just because.
It's been years,
so many, many years
and there's this little piece of him I still carry with me.
The funny thing is he never knew.
He never knew I watched him from a distance.
He never knew my heart skipped a beat when he walked into the room.
He never knew about all the times I held my breath, waiting to catch a glimpse of him.
He never knew I scribbled his name on the cover of my math book.
He never knew I would pretend to be his girlfriend.
He never knew any of it.
Now we're all grown up.
He has a wife and kids.
He wakes up everyday and does the things his life requires that he do
and I wonder if he realizes he slips into my dreams.
I wonder if he knows there is someone in this big, crazy world
who thinks about him almost every day,
someone who will always carry him in her heart
just because,
just because he was her first love,
just because they were two kids,
two kids who knew each other a little bit
and she chose to love the boy he used to be
and has never stopped loving him.

29 Comments:

Blogger liz elayne said...

hmmm...the tender way you have looked at this. the wondering. i don't think it ever really stops...

9:01 PM  
Blogger Living Part Deux said...

So sweet and evocative - probably for anyone who reads it. Wonderful as usual, Michelle.

9:24 PM  
Blogger *aimee* said...

OMG...that is the sweetest thing ever. I think about things like this often. I wonder, and I wonder if others wonder too. Thanks for sharing. :o)

9:27 PM  
Blogger Laini Taylor said...

Makes you wonder, doesn't it, if you might "slip" into somebody's dreams on a regular basis, without realizing it! Where are our dream selves making appearances, without our knowledge? Sweet and also a little bit titillating!

9:38 PM  
Blogger Bohemian Girl said...

beautifully written.

if he only knew...

10:33 PM  
Blogger Kim G. said...

Very sweet! I love that we get to keep the memories of the ones that never really became anything more than a dream. It's almost better that way.

11:18 PM  
Blogger Catherine said...

Yes to the previous comment - real love is special, but love at a distance is something entirely different, and special in itself. Better to keep it that way I think. I like the image that you chose to go with the post

11:38 PM  
Blogger megg said...

That was wonderful - sigh! I have so many fond memories of people who I haven't seen since we were kids & they really are the same now as they were then even though in reality they are all grown up. I really loved this!!

12:39 AM  
Blogger dani said...

this is lovely. love is so amazing. i have someone like this too. i think we all do.

4:55 AM  
Blogger acumamakiki said...

i loved this. unrequitted love is one of my most favorite themes to read about.....throw in some bittersweet irony and i'm hooked.

4:58 AM  
Anonymous beansprout said...

I love this post....the knowing and the unknowing of it all. Beautiful as always.

5:33 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

oh Michelle-- your posts are so lovely and the photos!

I LOVED your post about making/finding passion if only for a moment each and every day-- that is pure magic.

~bluepoppy

6:05 AM  
Blogger andrea said...

I love this picture and the unrequitted love is pure magic the way you wrote it.
Perfect.
a.

6:50 AM  
Blogger Nessie Noodle said...

Lovely- and this photo, I am over the top for it!

7:08 AM  
Blogger melba said...

This made me think about the boys I had big crushes on that never knew...

I like how sweet you described your memories...
Sometimes it is better that way; staying a seet memory.

7:12 AM  
Anonymous jeanne said...

Very nice, I have someone who slips into my dreams too. Sometimes I dream I slip into someone else's....

Love the photo.

8:24 AM  
Blogger gkgirl said...

awwwww...
that is so sweet
and how awesome is that to think
that for yourself...
each of us
could have been that
first unknown love
in someone else's life...
sigh...
:)

8:40 AM  
Blogger Tongue in Cheek Antiques said...

Okay you win the prize! This was wonderful! Oh so you, so good!!

9:53 AM  
Blogger susan said...

what a gorgeous touching piece of writing. so so beautiful. it is always a pleasure to drop by your space here.
i just love the photograph too.
thank you for this wonderful vision today!

10:44 AM  
Blogger Server Girl said...

awww...that is so sweet and so true for many of us...:)

10:50 AM  
Blogger Deb R said...

I bet everyone slips into someone else's dreams now and then, whether we ever know it or not.

Love the photo!

11:35 AM  
Blogger my pink sky said...

i love the sweetness of this post, the innocence...pure and unblemished love. if it were only this simple always!
~mindy

12:41 PM  
Blogger boliyou said...

So thoughtful and hopeful. I love it!

2:33 PM  
Blogger Colorsonmymind said...

Oh would he feel like a lucky man if he did know.....

4:06 PM  
Blogger rose colored glasses said...

I loved this! Thanks for sharing.

6:09 PM  
Blogger Joe said...

I think every one has this dream girl! Hope you had a good holiday!

6:22 PM  
Blogger papyrus said...

Beautifully written; so evocative of your feelings, even if they were secret.

1:00 PM  
Anonymous Lia said...

I read your post and felt you had written down the secret dreams we all carry within. Thank you for expressing it so very beautifully and bravely.

3:35 PM  
Blogger Rainbow dreams said...

Loved this - because it's so true - bringing back memories of childhood :-)

9:06 AM  

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