Monday, May 15, 2006

The List


The comments are back on!!! Feel free to let me know you're still reading. After a week of only leaving comments and not receiving any I've learned a little about myself. I knew I censored myself to some degree because I have some family members and friends who read my blog. But I didn't realize until the past week how much I censor myself in other ways. And maybe censor isn't the right word to use. I'm very careful about how I say things. I write a post and then I re-read it several times editing as I go. It's not unusual for a post to take me an hour to complete. I have a tendency to make absolutely certain that I clarify my thoughts, that I make myself as easily understood as possible. I don't want to leave any room for misinterpretation. I wrestle with every sentence, perfecting it as much as possible, so that I will be clear and precise. And that can be exhausting. Last week I didn't put as much pressure on myself because although I knew people were still reading, I didn't have to have any proof through the form of comments. There's some freedom that comes with that knowledge. Of course I'm turning the comments back on because as much as I've enjoyed that freedom I have missed the connection the comments bring.

This week's challenge is a self portrait every day. This challenge is perfect considering that this week is my birthday and I'm a firm believer that the week of your birthday should be all about you. I love birthdays. I love my birthday. I'm not one of those women who dread getting older and avoids it at all costs. I don't mind getting older because every year I get better and better. Every year I find myself more accepting, more real, more grounded, and more open. If aging is a bi-product of having the rest then I'll take it. But I have discovered that as I age other people don't put the same emphasis on my birthday as they did when I was younger. It's as if they think that because I'm an adult now I don't really care about those things. Well they're wrong. I do. I love my birthday and I love having that one day a year that is all, all, all about me. So why not make it a week all about me? That's what this week will be--all about me. I hope you'll enjoy the celebration of me and then, when it's your turn, that you'll do the same thing for yourself.

Where do we start? The wish list of course. These are just some of the things I have my eye on this year... Oh, and another thing I've learned as I've gotten older is if you want something don't wait for someone else to get it for you--get it for yourself... And so I will...

31 Comments:

Blogger Living Part Deux said...

I'm glad you're back in communication - I mean two-way communication. I missed being able to talk to you. Happy, happy birthweek. I celebrated for a week too, and found that was not quite enough, so I have declared the entire month of May birth month for all manner of festivities. Your list is fabulous!

9:33 PM  
Blogger Deb R said...

I'm SO glad your comments are back on! I got why you were doing it, but every day I'd want to say something and it was frustrating to not be able to. I loved your photos last week and can't wait to see what you do with a week of self-portraits. This one is contemplative and lovely.

I like your attitude about birthdays too. I still like making a fuss about mine too and I'm years older than you! :-)

10:14 PM  
Anonymous rachael said...

Beautiful picture.

Happy Birthweek to you. :) My birthday is this week also - the 17th. I love your wishlist... it has given me some great ideas for myself.

I hope you have a wonderful week!

10:15 PM  
Blogger Tongue in Cheek Antiques said...

Many moments of happiness this week of celebrating your birthday! I am glad you are back, I know you never went away, like Debra said it is not the same when there isn't a comment section.
Thank you for letting us have a friendship with you!

10:38 PM  
Blogger Amber said...

I thought your posts this last week were still just as good, even without all the worry you say you put into them. I LOVED the picture of you looking up at your little guy. I wanted to tell you how adorable that was.

:)

10:52 PM  
Blogger snowsparkle said...

happy birthday week, michelle! and spring! what a wonderful time of year to celebrate birth! i'm happy you are here. cheers! xxoo- snowsparkle

10:58 PM  
Blogger liz elayne said...

this is your princess week, as my friend rebecca would say. you should eat breakfast in a tiara every day in my opinion.
i love your wish list! and this glimpse into your experience without the comments...

(i just added il postino to my netflix queue...i have somehow never seen that movie...)

11:09 PM  
Blogger deirdre said...

Welcome home and happy birthday. Yes, getting older is worth the strange stuff that comes with it. So far. And your birthday should soooo be all about you. Enjoy.

11:42 PM  
Anonymous Irene said...

of course I'm still reading, but you already know that, right?

11:48 PM  
Anonymous Marilyn said...

Now THAT is a birthday list. :)

3:32 AM  
Blogger samtzmom said...

I tuned in last week for the first time, and have thoroughly enjoyed getting to know you and your blog. Some really wonderful stuff here. Happy Birthweek!

3:43 AM  
Anonymous krista said...

Of course I'm still reading. I love your site. I think it is a good think to blog without comments sometimes. I totally can understand why you did that. I turned my comments off for a week when I was doing the artists way as well. I thought it was a good exercise.

3:50 AM  
Blogger gkgirl said...

yay!

it killed me not to comment.
:)

and what a great idea for
celebrating your birthday,
and i think you are right,
people put so much emphasis on
"age"
that everyone assumes that
adults hate the idea of their
birthday...true for some perhaps,
but definately not all!

:)

4:35 AM  
Blogger acumamakiki said...

It's my husband's birthday week too, hasn't gotten off to a good start but don't need to clog your comments with that!
I love your wish list ~ I'd love to have a bicycle like that too and I love your self-portrait, can't wait to see more.

4:41 AM  
Blogger my pink sky said...

it has been so wonderful reading your blog, and i have found myself wanting to comment - so it is so nice to be reconnected...happy birthday to you! hope you get everything on your list...especially the little retreat - sounds devine :)
~mindy

p.s. love, love your mother's day post

4:52 AM  
Blogger Lee said...

Welcome back and happy birthday, whatever the day.

I like birthdays too. Actually I use them to make my new year resolutions; most suitable as my birthday is just before April Fool's Day.

4:59 AM  
Blogger kelly said...

morning glory....missed talking to you. one day, i actually wrote you an email, but ended up deleting it. i was afraid i would ruin your no comment flow. you will love messy thrilling life
and the birdie necklace is cute!

happy day!
k

5:19 AM  
Anonymous samantha said...

I am with you on the birthdays, lady! They are definitely meant to be a festival of all you are. What a fabulous birthday wishlist (oh, how I love our friend Patty Griffin). And it's good to be able to "talk" to you again -

5:27 AM  
Blogger maggiegracecreates said...

When I told my husband about my blog, I actually asked him not to laugh at it. I was so afraid that would be his (and others) response.

I think we all want to put our best and most creative front out there. But reality is we are not always at our best or most creative so the rest of us understand.

I am learning in my life and in my blog to let it just be.

In one comment on my site a reader said in effect - i thought i was gaining more patience - now i realize i just don't give a sh^*.

I think there are days we all feel that.

5:36 AM  
Blogger lovegreendog said...

birthdays should last a week! Happy Birthday!
i love that you are doing self portraits. once i started turning the camera toward myself i saw things i like, it's been freeing

5:52 AM  
Blogger The Whole Self said...

happy birthday and happy blogging. thank you for sharing your journey and your struggles...i found myself nodding my head in agreement with a lot of things you shared in this post.

peace,
n.

6:02 AM  
Blogger andrea said...

Oh I had a horrible time with no comments! Which is why I emailed you and commented on flikr, lol! I look at it like we are all sitting around a table chatting. You throw a subject out there and then we get to discuss and dish on it.
I am so glad you are "back". That was a weird week.
Love,
a.

6:31 AM  
Anonymous Jennifer (she said) said...

I'm glad you learned something about yourself during your "no comments" week. I thought about you often and understood why you chose to take the comments off for awhile.

My partner makes fun of me because of my birthday weeks. I think I'd celebrate a birthday month if I could get away with it. I love my birthdays too - for some reason they mean more and more as I grow older. I'm already planning my cake (my birthday is in June). So happy birthday week to YOU! We are blessed to have you in the world.
xo
jennifer

7:05 AM  
Blogger Swirly said...

That is a lovely, inspiring list!!

8:18 AM  
Blogger Heather said...

love your list, i've been wanting to read eat, pray, love for awhile now. I had to laugh a little when I read your fist paragrah becasue I do just the opposite, I bust out a post as fast as I possibly can, do a quick spell check and then post it, later I go back and read it and most of the time I'm horrified as all the misspellings still there and all the unclear sentences. I think we should find a happy place between how I do it and how you do it.

8:52 AM  
Blogger tara dawn said...

Happy, happy birthday to you, a beautiful woman inside and out! I am so glad to hear that you are embracing this week of celebration for yourself.
And I can completely understand the "censoring" aspect...how I wish I could turn it off and just write freely and rawly and openly all the time.
Now, send me a quick email if you get a chance with your snail mail...I'd like to send a little birthday wish!
xoxo,
Tara Dawn

9:32 AM  
Blogger Letha Sandison said...

Welcome back Michelle!!

Happy Birthday week! I am with you! I told my husband when we met that we should celebrate each other the ENTIRE week of our birthdays. Not just with gifts but in many other creative ways.

I hope you hve a wonderful week!

10:51 AM  
Blogger melba said...

I love birthdays too! I never understood all those cards in the store of people dreading getting older. I am 35 and proud of it! I never feel the urge to lie about my age. I just don't get it...
Glad you're with me on this one!

Hope you have a fab week!

12:32 PM  
Blogger Colorsonmymind said...

I am glad you turned your comments back on. Loved the posts even though i couldn't tell you.

This picture is great. I love the contrast of the white shirt and the green grass. I also like the eyeshadow color on you.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY WEEK!!!!!!!!

I hope you get everything on your scrumptious list.

XOXO

1:03 PM  
Blogger Yolanda said...

I truly enjoy reading your blog because you are so real.I like people that are real and reveal themselves as so on their blog. You will love the Book Eat,Pray,Love . I have just started it and love it especially how she views God.Here's wishing you a wonderful birthday.

1:21 PM  
Blogger Josephine said...

Happy Birthday Week, Michelle!!

I missed talking to you :)

10:12 PM  

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