Monday, April 24, 2006

Another 21 Days

Rhonna is offering another 21 Day Challenge and because the first one I participated in was such a positive experience for me I decided to join up for this one too. When I first read that she was all for going a 3rd round I thought this would be an excellent time to incorporate a daily walking regimen. I already have the yoga going, throw in some cardio and I ought to be well on my way to health. Wenda was such an inspiration to me as she shared the journey of her own 21 Days with walking that I wanted to hear my own feet pounding the pavement. However, the more I thought about it the more I realized that although I do need the walking, right now there is something more pressing that I need to focus on. I need to give some intentional attention to my emotions--naming them, sitting with them, feeling them, letting them have their place. I need to ask myself the tough questions and be courageous enough to at least throw them around, even if I'm not at a place where I can really answer them. I need to be willing to untangle the inside. I've noticed lately that I'm not addressing the root of my emotions and as a result they are spilling all over the place but not in their original form. I'm exploding in anger at Trey when really I'm feeling hurt because I feel ignored. I'm experiencing meltdowns with Britton when really I'm feeling frustrated at work. And it continues to build because I'm not asking for what I want and need. This is a little more tricky to measure and define than my last challenge but I feel it's really something I need to give some dedicated time to for awhile. I don't know where this path will lead me. I don't have any clue what it will look like. But everyday, for the next 21 days, I intend to at least start the journey. I intend to name my feelings, invite them in, sit with them instead of run away, give others my truth instead of a secondary outcome, and open myself up to the emotions that scare me the most. It seems like a tall order, not to mention emotionally intense, but I see this 21 days as a beginning point, as an opportunity to scratch the surface. It's easing my way into a new way of being. It's 21 days towards purposefully looking at my life--messy emotions and all.


Anonymous krista said...

Brave soul you are.

Its the challenging uncomfortable personal work that you do yourself that really moves you forward.

8:04 PM  
Blogger Yolanda said...

Like you I will be dealing with the hard emotional issues I have to deal with.Hears hoping this next twenty-one days adds new insight for us both.

8:36 PM  
Blogger kerry said...

hi, i've been checking your blog a lot for a little while...and i love your photographs. i often find myself wanting to go out and take pictures myself after looking at your blog. your challenge for yourself these 21 days is very brave, something i also am in need of but not feeling as brave..not yet. best wishes.

9:30 PM  
Blogger snowsparkle said...

my ordinary self that's seen so many miles wants to lend a road map, but my zen buddhist self just wants to wish you the peace, strength and courage your journey requires. the only thing other i want to say is: sometimes going outside ourself is the way to get inside. may your heart aim for where it finds light.

10:22 PM  
Blogger liz elayne said...

this is a powerful intention my dear. the journey of going inward and really looking around...with an open heart and compassion for yourself. this is what i hope for you.
blessings to you.

10:28 PM  
Blogger Laini Taylor said...

looking forward to reading about your journey!

11:32 PM  
Blogger Tongue in Cheek Antiques said...

sitting, or walking, with your emotions, allowing them to come forth and sit. No judgement, no changing...just sitting with them, the first step to acceptance and understanding.

2:48 AM  
Anonymous beansprout said...

A wonderfully courageous challenge! I see you sitting with whatever comes up and bringing curiosity to the process. "What's here now? Hmmm...anger again." No judgement. I once had someone tell me that you can treat your emotions like invite them in, have a visit, conversation...but they aren't allowed to trash your home and they can't stay forever. Good luck!

4:30 AM  
Blogger gkgirl said...

this is a big endeavor...
but i have faith in you
and your abilities/capabilities/insight

i think you will do fine.


4:52 AM  
Blogger Lee said...

Good luck.
I will enjoy watching your journey!

5:43 AM  
Blogger acumamakiki said...

I didn't realize she was starting again, I need to sign up. I can't wait to see where this journey takes us!

6:33 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you for sharing your thoughts here. I found your entry from Rhonna's Challenge and hope you don't mind if I follow your journey. I think we could all benefit from some deep soul searching and face-to-face confrontation with out emotions.

7:25 AM  
Blogger Jamie said...

What a precious gift you are giving yourself to spend time with you and what's going on inside. I'm sure the art journalling will be transformative. May it be a powerful journey.

7:34 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

wow-- you are transforming your life!!! You are choosing to actively nurture what is good and discard what is no longer serving you and I am INSPIRED and awed by your courage and wisdom.

I think it is wonderful to have captured this journey in writing because at some point in the future (some beautiful shining point when life feels so damn good) you will look back and have a record of all you did and you will be knocked back on to your feet with amazement at how much you accomplished.

This, is living!!!! You are so cool.


7:42 AM  
Blogger Deb R said...

That's an excellent goal, Michelle. Sending good thoughts your way.

8:03 AM  
Blogger Colorsonmymind said...

Ahhhhh. About 14 days into the last challenge I was wishing she would do another.

My goal felt cloudy at times~ "Just do it", but also in a way easier on my self-it was hard to judge myself or to beat myself up.

You did such a great job last time.

Hmmmm I just had an idea. What if you combined them? You could make walk a time to reflect on the deeper feelings of the day?

This may be my goal ~ To take a gratitude walk or run every day- only allowing my thoughts to focus on gratitude on the way.

Thanks sweetheart!

8:05 AM  
Blogger Living Part Deux said...

It has been incredible thus far to witness your journey. You have exposed your perceived weaknesses. You have confessed actions you regret. Those are onion layers, and you are peeling down to the core - to the center where truth resides. I will pray for calmness these 21 days as you remove yourself from the moment and name your feelings and extend your hand to them. Much love to you.

8:55 AM  
Blogger M said...

This sounds like a good idea, a tough challenge, but definitely a starting point. You can exlore so much about your emotions in your journaling as well!
Good luck!!

9:47 AM  
Blogger Josephine said...

Sounds like you are good and ready for a change. And that makes all the difference!

10:10 AM  
Blogger megg said...

Hi there! I just thought I'd give you a tip! Sometimes for me, walking is just the thing to make me really think - really be with my own thoughts. I find that half way through a walk is the place where I can finally hear what's going on. Good luck though with this - what a brave soul you are!

1:38 PM  
Blogger melba said...

For me too the 21 days have become more for support and inspiration and guidence rather than the execution of doing an art journal. I love my art journal and will continue with it, but I am not going to put the pressure on myself like I feel I did a bit last time with writing and posting everyday.
I support you on your journey of paying attention!

3:46 PM  
Blogger twistedsoda said...

good on your for doing the challenge again. I think I am going to sit this one out and watch the magic unfold. (hearts)

4:58 PM  
Blogger kelly said...

hmmmm....i love your honesty girlie! it is always scarey sitting with ourselves! here
is to one of the bravest chicks
i know!

6:10 PM  

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