Sunday, March 26, 2006

MamaSaysOm - Foundation

Dear Britt,

Most of the time I have these letters planned out. Most of the time I've thought long and hard about what I want to say. Most of the time I've written, revised, and edited before I've posted. But this week I wanted to talk to you without planning it all out. I wanted to write a letter that was like a conversation we'd have while sharing a bowl of ice cream--no big lesson to teach, no moral to unfurl, no advice to give--just me and all the things I want to say yet never know how. But where do I start? There's so much I want to share. I want to give you words that will help you stay confident and secure through your life's journey. I want to reveal the secrets of loving yourself and becoming your own best friend. And I want to tell you about girls, all the things you'll need to know, like how they think, what they want, and all the ways they say no when they don't feel they have the power to say no. I want to share with you all the ways they feel vulnerable and powerless and misunderstood so that women's issues are as important to you as men's. I want to teach you how to listen, how to stay present, and how to remain connected to others, even when you really, really want to shut down. I want to show you how to love bravely. I want to tell you how to revel in the joy and goodness and how to sit in the pain and emptiness. I want to convince you that your spirit is big enough to handle anything and that you can learn to live boldly even with the fears. And of course I want to protect you and prepare you. I want to spare you from the depression that sometimes creeps up on both me and your dad. I want to warn you about the horror of credit cards, the dangers of smoking, and the risks of drinking in excess. I want to teach you how to tie your shoe, how to spell your name, how to drive a car, do your own laundry, and cook for yourself (okay, maybe your dad will have to teach you that one.) I want to instill within you a sixth sense so that you can see into the hearts of others. I want to teach you to value your own voice and to stand up for what you believe. I want to encourage you to question, to doubt, to push against the norm in order to own your own beliefs, your own faith, your own life. And most of all I want to give you the gift of a relationship built on love and respect. Yes there is a lot I want to share with you while we're enjoying our ice cream and most of the time I don't know where to start. Most of the time I don't have the words. Most of the time I'm fumbling through life myself. Most of the time, despite how much I want to give you, my crankiness and irritability get in the way. I really hate that. So, since I struggle to find the words, we'll start with this one simple thing: I love you. This love will be our foundation then we'll build from there.



Blogger Deb R said...

A foundation of love is a GREAT place to start.

8:37 PM  
Anonymous Marilyn said...

Love the way you wrote telling him all your "I want to tell you's" just did. Beautiful.

8:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What an amazing Man your little guy is going to be someday. You are such a great Mama!
You know you don't always need words...they'll get it.

Great job on the foundation theme.

8:58 PM  
Blogger GreenishLady said...

This is so wonderful. If you don't know how to tell him those things, it doesn't matter as much as wanting to tell him does. The WANT is the thing, and he gets it. Your love for him is the thing in all of it. BEautiful. You are wonderful.

1:59 AM  
Anonymous Irene said...

inspiring... love... the foundation...

2:53 AM  
Blogger acumamakiki said...

I love the last sentence. Love is the foundation....I'm so counting on that.

2:58 AM  
Blogger gkgirl said...

so many things
that are taught
without being
the fact alone
that you want
to give him
these things
will help him to acheive them...

hes a lucky l'il boy

5:44 AM  
Blogger Joe said...

y prayer is that you will follow through with your thought for him! Have a greast Monday.

6:36 AM  
Blogger The Whole Self said...

what a lucky little boy you have to have a mama like you-

7:43 AM  
Blogger Laini Taylor said...

These letters of yours, Michelle, always make me really FEEL the profound responsibility of making and raising and teaching a little human being -- giving them the tools to be the best human they can. Britt is in wonderful hands! And, being married to a man whose mama did a really good job raising a sensitive boy to be full of empathy and caring for women's issues: right on!

9:01 AM  
Blogger Tongue in Cheek Antiques said...

"I want to show you how to love bravely"
The entire post was very good, I liked this line best!

12:07 PM  
Blogger M said...

I love your letters, what a brilliant idea. I forwarded the Mama Say Om site to my best friend, who is a mother, thought she could use the inspiration and support. I love how well you sum up what I'm sure every mother thinks in one way or another. I'm on the cusp of that chapter, finally thinking about us becoming parents and what that really entails, not just the idea of it but the reality and you voice it so perfectly. Thank you. Britt is a very lucky boy. We need more sensative, understanding, and in the know men out there!

4:19 PM  
Blogger christina said...

Mmm. I always love your letters to your little boy. They are so earnest and heartfelt and full of realness. It always amazes me to realize how much hope we attach to our children, like a hundred tiny ribbons adorning their every action--we want the world for them, more than we've had, more than is possible. And yet--this is what makes a good parent, no? Britton has a wonderful foundation with you as his mama!

6:18 PM  

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