Thursday, February 23, 2006

Commenting on Comments

gkgirl said... everyday
i read your blog
and your words
and your thoughts
and i always
get the sense
that you are soooo
on the verge of something,
of something bigger than big,
stronger than strong...
wilder than wild...

Oh friend I have been on the verge for so long that I seriously begin to wonder... I live my life as a woman on the verge. I feel so ready to explode, so ready to let go, and then, well, I never end up taking that last step off the edge. I hold back. I don't know why, but I do. And this is the year I want to stop holding back. Thank you for seeing something so much bigger and stronger and wilder in me. I will use your eyes until mine can believe it.

melba said... It seems you have all this energy, passion, desire...but then what to do with it all? Where to channel it all? Maybe you are suppose to be doing something else.

True, so true. I have days I feel as if I could melt. I'm burning. I'm hungry. I'm yearning...for something... Maybe I am supposed to be doing something else. I just wish I knew what it was. I keep thinking about going to grad school so that I can do something more but I can't quite make that decision because I don't know what that something more is. Honestly there are days I'm so tired of thinking about it I wish it would just fall into my lap already. Maybe then I could see it. But who knows, if that happened I might be so scared of it I'd take off in the other direction.

dani said...wild should mean: real, authentic, innate, unpretentious, natural, animal, connected to nature. it seems your wild child is screaming this big time in your ears!! go with the flow, it's where your soul wants to be

Yes, yes, yes. You are seeing wild just the way I am. And that is exactly where my soul is begging to be.

beansprout said... So...what are you waiting for?

Oh friend, I don't know. I am holding back. It will always be difficult for me to let loose because I am so very shy and introverted. But I feel like I could explode in any moment. Maybe I'm scared of that much glory and power. Maybe I'm frightened of the change. Maybe I care too much about other people's reactions. Maybe I've gotten too content sitting on the edge without ever taking the plunge. I could give you a million excuses but the truth is, it's right there but I'm holding back. I'm just plain scared.

DebR said... It sounds like you need to give yourself the gift of Wild-ness. What a lovely gift it could be.

Yes, it is a gift I need to give myself. Pass the pretty pink ribbon!

Jamie said... The call of the wild ~ when it shows up you have to answer! I wonder what wildness you'll get up to.

My wildness would look like...dancing under the stars...wearing bold, delicious (and maybe a little bit revealing) colors...running barefoot in the grass...not allowing people to cross my boundaries...the ability to protect myself...saying no without in candlelight...not feeling ashamed to be naked...more sex...those cute garter belt panty hose...a new haircut...writing more poetry...

Janine said...Life is too short to only give yourself glimpses of something so tantalizing, go taste it for yourself!!

You're right. I'm trying. Maybe this is a good start...this admission...

megg said...You said once that you hadn't read 'Women who run with the wolves' yet - do read it!

I own the book. I've read the first couple of chapters and then I never finished it. Maybe I need to pick it up again.

Anonymous said...Was it a poem you wrote or one you read?

It was Mary Oliver's In Pobiddy, Georgia


Blogger Colorsonmymind said...

Take the plunge- start with something easy from your list I bet the rest will follow

8:10 PM  
Blogger Knit Chick said...

What a gorgeous photograph!

8:13 PM  
Blogger Deb R said...

If the gift is to be Wild-ness, I recommend some wide and shiny RED ribbon, perhaps with gold sparkles.

Just a thought. :-)

10:31 PM  
Blogger Laini Taylor said...

Seeing everyone's wonderful words to you laid out like this, like a dialogue, is such an affirmation of this medium and the relationships that can be formed here, the support. What a bunch of cool chicks.

11:30 PM  
Blogger liz elayne said...

your words always make me feel like maybe, just maybe, i can do anything. because you believe that maybe, just maybe, you can do anything too. let this be the year that you find the wild goddess warrior within.

11:32 PM  
Blogger megg said...

You know what? There's a secret that we were never told as girls because it scared people away. I've learned it but I can't fully believe it yet - WE CAN DO ANYTHING! What do you really secretly down and dirty WANT to do next? What teeny tiny step would help you? I am so inspired by you every single day. I know you have it in you to do whatever your heart desires!!!!!!! Sending love.

2:55 AM  
Blogger acumamakiki said...

When I was on the brink of changing myself from designer to acupuncturist, it took me at least a year (probably more) of gut-wrenching indecision. I felt like everyday I was on the brink of something and I wanted that change so badly I would sell myself short continually to find the thing I was going to be. "I'm just going to be a personal assistant" or "I'm going to become an aesthetician and do bikini waxes" (this was before Brazilians, how happy am I that I didn't do THAT!)and Marc would always say that I was setting my sights too low, to keep digging and I'd find it.
Michelle, you will to. You just have to know that whatever it is you choose to become (besides all of your other, lovely roles) is worth the wait even as arduous and draining the process is. I promise that it will fall into your lap, you just have to know that it will when it's time. Much of the process (like most things) is about eliminating what you DON'T want, so you can find what you do.

4:10 AM  
Blogger gkgirl said...

i loved your response to what you
would do
if you were to accept your call
of the wild...
that was great.

and i just remember
that when i wanted to knit
(not quite the same thing,
i know, heehee)
you said
"so what are you waiting for"
and so
i did it...

gentle pushes
can start landslides.


5:24 AM  
Blogger kelly said...

great answers! have a wild weekend

i love your spt this week. and you have a brite and wild tee on
too! you are adorable

5:33 AM  
Blogger bella said...

I had to re-read this a couple of times because I feel as if I'm right there, I know what I need to do in my situation, my circumstances, yet there is that fear or something big holding me back. Thank you for being so honest and not holding back. Your thoughts and words truly comfort.

8:07 AM  
Blogger Alex said...

start with a new hair cut and maybe the rest will follow!

10:11 AM  
Blogger Josephine said...

What you are here, in these words, and there, in the brilliance of your light is what it means to be alive.

You are a beauty to behold.

10:47 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Maybe I'm scared of that much glory and power"

Bada bing! N'est-ce pas? Don't you think a core piece is you KNOW how truly amazing and beautiful and powerful you are and you are afraid of being that gorgeous?

Somewhere somehow you got shut down and it became not okay to dazzle.



You can do this. You can you can you can!

We're all here, blogs united under you like a safety net.


12:44 PM  
Blogger Turquoise CRO said...

One of my REGRETS is not staying in Connecticutt when I was 18,the year was 1969, long enough to go to WOODSTOCK! in NY!!! I was WILD(still a virgin too!LOL), hitch-hiking here and there but who knows, my wildness might have killed me if I would have gone! I was a psychiatric aide and I had started drinking too, too much wine just to make it thru those days! Get that panty garter belt, run thru the grass barefoot(it's awesome, I've been doing that all my life! these WV hills=hillbilly) but be careful with Wild! That's all I'm saying sweet girly! The first impression I got from you on Misty's Blog was I thought, "She's a SWEET girl" and that's not all bad but I know where you are coming from, you should be wild!!! but don't let it kill you! Does this make sense to you???

1:27 PM  
Anonymous beansprout said...

Oh sweet wonderful you...I am going to say these words to you because I need to hear them myself. Don’t be afraid of what your BRILLIANCE may present. Be is who you really are. Do not move the way fear wants you to. Fear and the ego want to shut you down, keep you pinned to the mat, stuck, unmoving. That way they always know where to find you. Deek out of fear's way and be as wild as you need to be. You're being already makes an exquisite contribution to the world. ALLOW yourself that. It is your birthright.

1:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

4:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm new, I don't know you very well so feel free to ignore. I've read your last two posts twice.

These are my thoughts:
I am a busy mom, I stay at home, I am 33, I have all of this creative energy inside and felt like it was dying because I wasn't getting it OUT there, I too never "sewed my wild oats"...wanna know something...we are like every woman I know our age. 30 is hard. Early 30's is "what happened to my life".

You wanna know what I am learning though?...that THIS is the "sweet life"...that I can find happiness, glory and brilliance right were I am at. That just because I scrub bathroom toilets or feel bogged down with the mundane safe life, doesn't mean I will not run barefoot through the grass as soon as I am done. One does not forsake the other.

I wasn't "standing on the edge"...I had crossed over a long time ago, I just didn't appreciate it. I love my life. I love where I am at and there is no other place I would rather be.

Does that make sense? I just don't want you to make any sudden moves or changes that will disrupt your world just because you feel you SHOULD and every one is telling you there is more and go for it.

How does that saying go..."The grass is always wilder on the other side of the fence" ;)

4:55 PM  
Blogger Frankie said...

You give me such Faith in things Michelle. Faith in life and love and beauty, and even in myself, which is not an easy thing to bring out in me. Even in your uncertainty of what you want to do, those certainties about who you already are shine through. You are wonderful and wild and burning with beauty, inside and out. I am in awe of you!

7:51 PM  
Blogger GoGo said...

Wow! This is a reflection of the energy you give off. Take the plunge...dive in, then write it looks like I'm not the only one who wants to hear about it!

Thanks for the words!

10:31 PM  
Blogger kate said...

I, like Andrea, am new here too. I have only read a few of your blogs, but I totally relate to many of them.

I am in the middle of this awakening in my life as well. I have a good friend who reminds me often of exactly what Andrea was saying... that this life is great I have 'it all'. But I just know there has to be more.

I feel it and frankly I couldnt imagine this being it. I feel like I am dying a slow death in suburban paradise.

I am a bit older than you are. I totally feel that my 30's were a wasted decade. I look back and I was not me (idk if that makes any sense) I had some life altering changes occur when I was 40 and I realized I better stop wasting this life and take the bull by the horns.

So I searched... and continue to search... for who I am and where I am going. I recently took a plunge... went to the wild side a bit and it was AMAZING... something I will never forget... but when all was said and done, I have kids and a husband... it cant be all about me. It is a tough pill to swallow.

So I am getting a haircut, and wearing thongs (which go mostly unnoticed... by anyone but me) I am reading more and blogging... I travel as much as I can and looking for a new job that may fill this need for adventure that I have... I am taking baby steps and we'll see where they lead!

Sorry to ramble... but you touched on a really hot button for me!

cheers Kate

6:23 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

LOL...wearing thongs. You crack me up Kate.

Its hard to really rexpress what your thinking/feeling but I totally agree that if you are not feeling as if this is "right" then yes, you have to change it.

I would never settle for anything in this life becasue as far as we know so far...this is it. This is all we have. I was merely pointing the other side that it is easy to get into a "hype" about doing something great when really great can mean simply doing what your doing now.

I have a friend who drives me crazy insisting im wasting my "talent" living out in the country raising my family. She wants me in NY attending art galleries. To her that is great but its not MY great.

Bottom line, you just have to listen to your own heart.


P.S all this talk about hair cuts is making me thing maybe I need a change too, lol!

8:07 AM  
Anonymous Marilyn said...

Gee, what did I miss on the last post?! (Work has been crazy-busy so I'm just catching up on my blog reading...)

8:45 AM  
Blogger andrea said...

what a fantastic idea this is! I get so much from my comments... can't believe I never thought to do this... totally enjoyed this.

6:44 PM  

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