Tuesday, December 06, 2005

SPT{Reflection-1}


I know how it will be when I die,
my beauty will be so extraordinary that God will worship me.

He will not worship me from a distance, for our minds will have wed,

our souls will have flowed into each other.

How to say this: God and I

will forever cherish

myself.
Cherish Myself
by Rabia


I read this poem last week.
It has haunted me ever since.
This is part of my journey,
part of my searching.
It's a bold statement.
Very bold.
And it's a far stretch from the beliefs I've been exposed to all my life,
beliefs inherited from a tradition that took pride in reiterating my sinfulness,
beliefs that implied I deserved nothing from God but death - if I was lucky.
Yes, this pretty much contradicts what I was raised to believe.
Dare I live as boldly as the poet Rabia?
Dare I believe that maybe...just maybe...?
Could my mind so transform itself as to actually consider and embrace the possibility that God might not only cherish me, but worship me?
Sacrilegious right?
But what if...
I think my mind could...accept this...
if I'd be so bold as to let it...
I think so...
I hope so...
I hope so because this is what I want to believe about myself,
about my life,
because I want to have the courage to find my own way, apart from tradition.
A God whose soul melts with mine...
now that is a God I could get used to.
Yes, she is a God I could come to accept.
Oh, but I don't want to have to wait until death.
I want it now.

25 Comments:

Blogger gabrielle said...

Michelle, very evocative words...someting I am searching for also. Loved the photo especially since you could read the objects in morror may be closer than appear...maybe we are closer to the union that we appear.

8:01 PM  
Blogger snowsparkle said...

Ah Michelle, your words spoke my thoughts and a warmth spread over me! yes, this is the god-being i believe in and can connect with. the one that connects all with one another as well. fellow travelers in this beautiful, awe-filled universe. it's right here, right now. big hugs from snowsparkle

8:49 PM  
Blogger Swirly said...

What a powerful, intriguing and provocative concept...I think this is going to stay with me as well.

9:48 PM  
Blogger madness rivera said...

UH! - Thank you so much for posting that poem. So fantastic and alive. thank you thank you

10:11 PM  
Anonymous Marilyn said...

What if...you...dared...to accept it...now? Something tells me you're about to find out...

10:20 PM  
Blogger telfair said...

That is a really brave & personal commentary on this kind of exploration...I'm sure I'll be thinking about this poem for awhile, too.

10:30 PM  
Blogger liz elayne said...

i take a breath and read this again and again. beautiful. brave.

12:17 AM  
Blogger firstborn studio said...

God DOES cherish you and even me....we are his children!
through thick and thin dear girl!

2:17 AM  
Blogger Trish said...

Oh My...so haunting and beautiful at the same time...

3:30 AM  
Blogger Deb R said...

I tried to see this last night and for some reason the photo wouldn't load, but this morning it did. Yay! I love the combination of photo and idea.

5:51 AM  
Anonymous Collette said...

The poem is great but I really love your commentary. I wish you bravery and daring.

6:08 AM  
Blogger Michelle Fry said...

Bold statement and great photo. I love it!

8:53 AM  
Blogger Frankie said...

Hauntingly beautiful. I am in love with this on so many levels. The line "because I want to have the courage to find my own way, apart from tradition." especially tugged at my heart. I want that so desperately as well.

10:15 AM  
Blogger Patry Francis said...

I can see why you were haunted by that poem. Now I'm haunted by yours as well.

10:36 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow. I started reading your blog not long ago and have enjoyed it, but must say I felt a little shock when I read the poem you posted. Blasphemy comes to mind? If the point is that God will be in love with us, I agree, I believe He is in love with us right now, but the idea of God worshipping us? I think the word worship takes the idea a tad too far. Just my thoughts.

10:44 AM  
Blogger la vie en rose said...

Dear Anonymous,

Is it blasphemy? I don't know...maybe...

The voices of my childhood ghosts would most definitely agree with you. But my voice now asks "why" and "what if"...and I want to be willing to explore this possibility. That's what this post is about - the possibility...for something better, truer, more personal, more intimate, and beyond the limits of my current and past understandings.

Maybe it is...I'm okay with that. I'm at a place now where I want to push the limits...of my thinking, of my beliefs, even of God...

and I don't want to go back to where I've been...

I do appreciate your thoughts and your comment did make me stop and re-evaluate the poem and my own words and make sure that I was being true to myself and my journey. Thank you.

1:04 PM  
Blogger Bethany said...

I want to thank you...for you honesty in this journey of life...of the spiritual...of the personal! The poem made me think...and your words made me think all the more. And wether anyone agrees, or disagrees, it is your journey to walk through.

It reminded me of a book called, "The Sacred Romance"...have you heard of it? I read it a few years back...and it flipped my world (and my view and relationship with God) upside down! It talks of God wooing us, courting us, chasing after us, longing to know us...not as His children (although we are!), but more as a lover would chase a love. Such a brief description for such a profound read in my life. It helped me to see the delight that God has in me as His girl.

1:25 PM  
Blogger Kerstin said...

These are big questions for me, too, but on a very different level because I do not believe in a God. I wish I did, I really do. But I just don't feel it inside. My upbringing in Germany was very liberal and certainly not God fearing, despite spending 8 years in a catholic convent school. Would I feel differently had my parents been "stricter" as far as religion is concerned? I will never know. What I do know is that I can not relate to news reporters who finish a scare mongering sensationalist story with "God bless you" or to people whose lives are ruled by the fear of this God.

What I do believe in is Goodness that comes from the Heart. I believe in Respect. Integrity. Authenticity.

But my soul is searching. It longs for a God but so far he/she has eluded me.

Thanks for a spiritual post that got even me thinking :)

Kerstin

2:04 PM  
Blogger Living Part Deux said...

I love the vulnerability and likewise the fierceness of your searching. I believe that God dances over us as the most splendid of all His creations - created like Him. How could he disdain us? That would be disdaining Himself. How could He hate us? The idea of His absolute adoration of us is so far from a lot that is unfortunately preached. I encourage you in your exploration of a God who cherishes you with no reservation. The more we search with open hearts, the more that is revealed (in my humble estimation).

3:42 PM  
Anonymous nikol said...

i see god in you... and i see you melting her whole soul, lucky god! she gets to melt with you and cherish you... hmmmmmmm.... sounds pretty dam divine...

missing you and seeing you and celebrating you and cherishing you here in the most godly ways i know...

3:54 PM  
Blogger andrea said...

love your SPT... and really loving the crack in the mirror, too. nice detail.

8:12 PM  
Anonymous Nicole said...

This, THIS is why I feel such a connection with your writing. This is the image of God I too want to embrace, something more internal, more loving, close to my heart, maybe in it -- and less a Big Guy in the Sky judging (and forgiving) but always judging anyway.

8:39 PM  
Anonymous Nicole said...

p.s. I don't know what denomination you are, but you should look into services that incorporate Taize. It is an incredibly contemplative, internal style of worship that really opens my heart when I have the opportunity to experience it.

8:45 PM  
Blogger Marit Cooper said...

It made me think of the experience (or perhaps I should say memory?) of the God-Consciousness I had when I was 5 years old. It is like a supernova of love and wisdom at the heart of existence. Exstacy, bliss and the most profound "home longing" I have ever experienced. "That's where I'll go back when I die" I thought. Pretty profound for a five year old. Worship is too pale a word, adoration, passion! As for sin; my experience is that love is the all important thing in the eyes of God/dess - love yourself and love others and you can't go far wrong - fear is the root of all "evil" I think. The fear of not being loved lies at the bottom of most "sins"...

12:16 AM  
Blogger Karina said...

This is the God I know ... today. Think about it, how much would you have to love someone and want a relationship with them to sacrifice your child? It is outrageous!

You'll have to work out the details for yourself but God wants a loving relationship with you today. I don't want to sound churchy but eternity starts today. I have experienced the Holy Spirit
in my life.

My father was raised Church Of Christ and ran like the wind first chance he got. I did not attend church until I was an adult ... on my own. My dad still doesn't attend church. I love it!
There are churches that talk about having a relationship with Christ and not just the law.

12:39 PM  

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