Sunday, December 18, 2005

MamaSaysOm - Window

Dear B-dog,
When I read the theme for this week (window), the first thing that came to mind was the lyrics from one of my favorite albums of all time, The Beatles' Abbey Road. "She came in through the bathroom window protected by her silver spoon..." And just thinking of that one song made me think about all the great songs I've loved by the Beatles. Yes, I went through a Beatles phase in my life, even though they had already broken up and gone their separate ways before I was born. I discovered them when I was about 13...and I was hooked. Posters covered my walls. I'd lay in bed at night memorizing their lyrics. I'd wake early on Saturday mornings for a special program a local radio station played called Breakfast with the Beatles. Yes, the Beatles have been one of my life fads. Oh but they weren't the only fad. I've had many during my time. I don't even know where to start. There was the discovery of Ricky Nelson and re-runs on the Disney Channel of Ozzie and Harriet. There was Robert Redford. Yes, in 6th grade I fell in love with him after seeing Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (a movie I still love). I kept a biography of him constantly checked out from the school library. I'd propped it up on my desk and have afternoon tea with him. hehe...yea, I know.... And then there were the Kennedy's. I saw a mini-series about Robert Kennedy and became fascinated with his life and the entire Kennedy clan, especially the beautiful Jackie and the handsome John-John. In school one of our art projects was to design and build a kite. Mine was Kite Kennedy. However, it was so heavily plastered with pictures of the Kennedy family that it wouldn't ever fly. At some point, as I entered my later teenage years. I became really ashamed and embarrassed about the crazy fads I'd experienced. At one point I became so embarrassed that I destroyed my beloved diary, the diary I had kept for years. My grandparents had given it to me one Christmas and I used it to record the events of my day and the thoughts I had about family, friends, and whatever fad I was currently in to. I was ashamed of the idealistic phases of my past so I tried to get rid of the evidence. What I know now that I am older and "wiser" is that these phases were about imagination and creativity and identity....searching for who I was through the lives of other people. And these fads have influenced my identity but they have also helped me discover my identity. Looking back I see that they revealed a lot about what interests me, what I was longing for, and what my heart is inclined to feel passionate about. So, what I want you to know about what I've learned about phases and fads is this: it's just where you are at different times in your life. And where you are is just where you are. There is no shame in it. There is no shame. It's taken me a long time to give myself permission to embrace the fads I've loved. I hope it doesn't take you near as long. And I hope my letting you know there is no shame helps...helps you open your self up to imagination, creativity, and identity. Helps you let your heart love what it will love. So whether you read and re-read S.E. Hinton's The Outsiders and then cover your walls with posters of all the stars from the movie or whether you see Bruce Springsteen in concert 3 times in the course of six months or whether you see Titanic in the theater 12 times or whether you dump it all and get super religious, memorizing more Bible verses then anyone else you known, it's okay. Believe me, I've been there. It's just where you're at. And where you're at has a lot to teach you about who you are and what you need to keep your spirit alive. And there is certainly no shame in that. So let whatever wants to slip through the window of your imagination come on in. And keep your heart open to what it wants to teach you about yourself.

Oh, and I'll share my Beatles lunch box with you.


Blogger acumamakiki said...

I destroyed all of my journals when I was in my mid-20s. I had about 8 of them from my art school years in San Francisco. When I started dating he who shall not be named, the current journal went missing. I always knew he'd stolen it and he always maintained that he didn't. But I know. I stupidly gave that man my heart and when he invited me to live with him, I gladly accepted although I didn't trust him enough to have my journals around him (WHY didn't I recognize my own sign???) I destroyed them.

6:39 PM  
Anonymous Marilyn said...

Gee, we shared so many of the same fads...except I was, you know, ALIVE while they were happening. ;) Wish now I'd kept my Munsters lunchbox (which I insisted on having because Marilyn was the only 'normal' one on the show.) :)

7:41 PM  
Blogger ESB said...

oh, this is so great.....i, too, went through many obsessions in adolescence......first it was lindsay wagner (the bionic woman)...then in 1980, it was the beatles.....then the stones, esp. mick jagger, who plastered all of my walls....later it was duran duran! in early adulthood, it was robert redford!

7:58 PM  
Anonymous Beansprout said...

I love the mantra, "And there is no shame." I once wrapped my journals in plastic bread bags and took them out and buried them. I some how knew the earth would cradle my secret thoughts. When I tried to find them again...I couldn't.

8:13 PM  
Blogger liz elayne said...

That last thought, about sharing the lunch box, just brought a much needed smile to my face. And this image of letting things slip in through the window of the imagination - fantastic.
I went through a Robert Redford phase - after seeing him in Out of Africa. I cried and cried at the end of that movie. Fun to think about all those fads and phases we go through - thanks for the reminder.

8:50 PM  
Blogger Frankie said...

Most of my youth was spent obsessing over one thing at a time. I used to love to collect quotations and filled journal after journal with them, although later felt it was stupid and destroyed them, sadly. I also used to cut out pictures of celebrities from magazines and make collages of them in huge scrapbooks which I later tore apart and used as wallpaper before ultimately throwing them away. It's funny how even now, the things I used to love are reflected in my everyday life, in who I am now.

10:01 PM  
Blogger acumamakiki said...

PS. I had a thing for Robert Redford too in my teen years. It was the Way We Were that made me love that man, Hubble ~ sigh.

4:02 AM  
Blogger gkgirl said...

i love how much insight you gave
into what some of your childhood was like...stuff like that is so interesting
and you hit the nail on the head when you talked about the shame and cringing we feel when we think about what we were like at that age...i also destroyed "scribblers" i kept at a young age for the same reason...

4:21 AM  
Blogger Living Part Deux said...

I'm with Marilyn - I lived through all that stuff that you discovered after the fact. Problem with me was that I had to hide my fascinations because they - particularly the Beatles - were "evil," don't you know. So, my life sort of flipped. I went through love of fads on the adult side.

7:50 AM  
Blogger Heather said...

cute post. I like when you said where your at is ok because it has a lot to teach you. Great point.

8:49 AM  
Anonymous Toryssa said...

When I was 12 I had a poster of Brad Pitt on my wall, with a homemade caption that said, "Tory, will you marry me?"
Cringeworthy indeed.
What a great letter.

9:14 AM  
Blogger KB said...

awww I love letters to Britton!

thanks for posting on the weekly themes, it wouldn't be the same without you.

9:17 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home