Thursday, November 17, 2005

A Woman Spent


There are days I feel my value is soley based on
whose demands I meet
whose whimpers I attend
whose cries I comfort
whose mess I untangle
whose problems I put in order.
In a chaotic blur of doing
I become
faceless
voiceless
nameless
powerless
just another woman aching;
see me
hear me
touch me
and please, love me.
The fact that I have needs, aches, longings
gets lost to the tyranny of the urgent.
I'm a fragile heart that just wants
a tender kiss
a longing embrace
a sincere acknowledgement.
I'm a broken spirit
acting out her pain
in bursts of anger
shrieks of abandonment
and fits of anguish,
the childlike tantrums of a woman ignored
and desperately needing attention.
In these times,
nurturing myself is not enough.
I'm spent
used up
exhausted
empty
there's nothing left for me to give myself
and I need you.
Please listen to my whisper--
I need you.

18 Comments:

Blogger kiki said...

i hear you, i've thrown a few childlike tantrums myself

7:13 PM  
Blogger Heather said...

that is powerful, I understand and feel it too.

8:10 PM  
Blogger Bethany said...

First off...the photo is amazing! Your words are amazing themselves! They make me close my eyes and breath in deep...for this place that you are in is one of familiarity. Thanks for sharing them

8:18 PM  
Blogger Living Part Deux said...

Our tantrums take such different forms, but we all ache to be seen and heard and wanted... sometimes above the needing. You are such a beautiful writer.

8:32 PM  
Blogger Michelle Fry said...

I agree with all the comments and want to say "Thank you" as well. I got a bit of solace from your poem and I hope you did too.

8:41 PM  
Blogger sheela said...

you put your heart's cry into words so beautifully. my heart can relate to those raw feelings...

3:47 AM  
Anonymous Donna Maria said...

Michelle,
I am here for you. Give yourself a break-if only for an hour or 10 minutes. And remember to accept the truth about yourself...no matter how beautiful it is.

"The capacity to care is the thing which gives life its deepest meaning and significance."
Pablo Casals

4:44 AM  
Anonymous Marilyn said...

"the tyranny of the urgent"...beautiful, Michelle. I've spent way too much time there myself...in that tyranny of the urgent place. If only others COULD fill us when we feel empty and spent...and maybe you weren't referring to another person...maybe you were referring to something more spiritual. For ME, when I'm uttering "I need you"...I've learned that the person who most needs to hear that...is ME. Powerful post.

4:45 AM  
Blogger kelly said...

i am sending a enormous hug your way...warm and snug

5:38 AM  
Blogger Karina said...

Speechless, again.

6:34 AM  
Blogger gkgirl said...

so many "i know what you mean"
moments when i read what you write...

its good to write it out
and let it out...

:)

8:46 AM  
Blogger Frankie said...

Hello again! What I missed most about not having internet was not getting to read your blog. You inspire me each and every day through your beautiful words and self knowledge and I am forever grateful to you for it. This is a gorgeous poem. I love that you turned your anger and frustration into a stunning work of art. I hope it helped you see the enormous value of your wise and creative heart.

10:12 AM  
Blogger acumamakiki said...

amazing.

11:00 AM  
Blogger Neil said...

What a nice piece of work. We all need to cry out sometimes.

1:29 PM  
Anonymous melanie said...

oh, Michelle, you've put into words what I have felt so many times since becoming a wife and mother... it's tough sometimes being stretched so thin, and always being taken for granted. I always feel such a connection, such a familiarity with your words, like you've tapped into my heart and soul and had a peek at my most raw and real emotions.

7:49 PM  
Blogger andrea said...

again, these are words that hit so close to home, words that resonate with me. I know that feeling- to be crying out so desperately and silently.

9:43 PM  
Blogger liz elayne said...

So powerful with raw honesty. I am so thankful that you share your words with us out here in the world. I learn from you every day and am thankful to know that I am not alone in my little world.

8:21 AM  
Blogger Swirly said...

This is really beautiful and I think it speaks to what every woman feels at many points in her life. I am trying to learn how to find what I need and take care of myself when I am feeling invisible. Just because one person in front of me cannot recognize my feelings or needs does not mean I cannot reach out to someone else for comfort. I have a big phone bill from spending so much time on the phone with my girlfriends. :)

9:06 AM  

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