Monday, November 21, 2005

Prayer of a Bruised Heart


Here.
Here's my heart
I know at times I can hold it back,
cautiously ensuring it will be handled with great compassion,
carefully making certain
my dreams will not be ridiculed
or the words of my soul trampled on.
But I'm so heavy right now
and maybe if I release my heart to you
some of the burden will be lifted.
And with the burden lifted maybe
my feeling of value and importance will be restored.
I'm not all that different from anyone else.
I just want to know that I am seen,
really seen.
I just want to be heard.
I want to open my mouth and let it spill out,
not just observations about the weather,
or cute stories about my son,
or needless gossip about an acquaintance,
no, I want to talk about the deeper things,
the things I've been holding in so long,
the things that really matter--
the dreams
the fears
the failures
the doubts
the passion
the crushing weight of it all.
Then, after I've emptied every corner of my soul
I want only one thing in return--
my face cradled in your hands,
lifted to meet your gaze,
and then a holy kiss
placed gently on my forehead,
a kiss that says there's no need for words because
you understand it all,
you understand every cry of my bruised heart.

19 Comments:

Blogger andrea said...

heartbreakingly beautifully human, this great need to be heard, to be seen (really seen), to be held, to feel the weight of all burdens lifted. this is universal. as a child of god, I feel this, pray for this, long for this and if I open myself completely to it, I am fulfilled.

8:38 PM  
Anonymous Stephanie said...

"the crushing weight of it all"

what a powerful line, and so true. how quickly we feel the weight of deeper things if our conversations always skirt our inner lives.

beautifully written.

9:51 PM  
Blogger gkgirl said...

i hear what you say
especially when you say
its not just about the small talk
and the cute stories
and so on...

i think thats why i have
developed such an addiction
to blogs...i am looking
for that kind of connection
with people...

well said.

3:22 AM  
Blogger acumamakiki said...

Oh my......tears came to my eyes immediately because having a heavy heart or a heart worn on your sleeve can be so burdensome. The trivialities of the day don't release what is stored and it does become cumbersome. Trying to get it out in a positive way, (instead of explosion)in the way you've described.....that would be rapture.

3:42 AM  
Blogger firstborn studio said...

i see,hear,feel and understand the bruised heart,i walk around with one everyday.some days it is a great motivater and others not so much...it is always a decision i must make...daily.

i adore this image,mary rocks!

4:10 AM  
Anonymous Marilyn said...

Such universal feelings so beautifully expressed...and made so profoundly personal. It's why I put on that little list recently that I used to think what most people wanted was to be famous...but what I've learned is that what they really want is to be known. Blogging has been the greatest gift in that sense...not that I share all of me or even some of the most important parts of me on my blog, but for what I do choose to share, I do feel SEEN. That's important to all of us...not for attention's sake, but for our heart's sake. Beautiful post, once again.

5:22 AM  
Blogger Bethany said...

Such words...

I've been there...in that place...crying out to the one who can know all of me. I've actually circled past that place a number of times in my life...

And that feeling of holding yourself inside...hoping and wanting for others to see that in you...wanting them to simply dig a little deeper. Oh too familiar.

Thanks for sharing in your struggle...you are not alone!

6:50 AM  
Blogger Heather said...

wow that seriously gave me chills. I just posted a spt about prayer and your poem fits so perfectly it's scary. You say what I feel, amazing.

9:03 AM  
Blogger Kristine said...

True words.
What you have said resonates with me. I echo all of the comments already made. It is painful - this process to be heard, to go deeper, to get beyond the surface...

11:14 AM  
Blogger Living Part Deux said...

I completely agree with all the other comments. You have amazing insight and the beautiful ability to express not only what you are feeling, but what most all of us feel. You are very gifted, and it is a joy to visit every day to find out what you have explored.

12:16 PM  
Anonymous Nicole said...

There are those days I feel invisible still, and make small talk, or even eye contact, with people in the hallway at work just to reaffirm that I exist. Today I chatted with a woman in a wheelchair about one of the painting prints on the wall. There was a connection, brief but real, and I think we both needed that pause.

Thank you as always for sharing these thoughts. It is sometimes hard to be so raw.

7:55 PM  
Blogger Frankie said...

Absolutely beautiful, as always.

7:47 AM  
Blogger liz elayne said...

Lovely. The images here are amazing - bruised heart, every corner of the soul, the crushing weight of it all. This is it, isn't it? Keep writing, my friend, keep writing it all out.

8:19 AM  
Blogger Karina said...

Beautiful

1:21 PM  
Anonymous Stacie Rife said...

DID you write this????
It is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOoo beautiful... and SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO how I myself feel right now!!! POWERFUL!

1:51 PM  
Blogger Swirly said...

Lovely.

9:08 AM  
Blogger Michelle Fry said...

I'm not sure why I didn't see this post the other day but I'm glad I read it today. My bruised heart needed it.

1:36 PM  
Anonymous samantha said...

How funny that today, as I was stumbling around in my just-wakingness, the phrase 'you are not alone' was running through my head. I was thinking how it's one of the most powerful things anyone can say or express - and how we act out that one small belief, and how it can be a lifeline - for us, for someone else.

You are so raw and vulnerable here, but we are all here to say exactly this - you are not alone. And all those things that yearn to be known and named - you're on the path.

10:24 AM  
Anonymous Donna Maria said...

But it is important that we have the seemingly needless chatter about the weather-it is a commonality that we share, and icebreaker that will bring us all together so that we can come closer; so that we may talk about deeper things you've been holding onto for so long...the things that really matter. I understand. Sending a kiss to your forehead,
Your Friend, DM

12:29 PM  

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