Thursday, October 27, 2005

Looking Back


five years ago i was newly divorced, struggling to get out of bed each morning, not wanting to face the day or myself
five years ago my skin was too tight, my life didn't feel right, it hurt to breathe
five years ago i was called a weeping willow, my grief hanging over me like full heavy limbs
five years ago i let others speak, i listened intently, but i failed to have the confidence to claim my own voice
five years ago i was caught between the woman i dreamed of being and the girl i was expected to be
five years ago i was waking from a nightmare, dazed and misplaced, praying for hope, just a little something to believe in
five years ago i kept pages and pages full of thoughts and words and poems but i hid them, they were my secret, i never risked sharing the words of my heart
you've come a long way baby
and everyday i celebrate
your courage, your heart, your stubbornness,
your grief, your grace, your beauty,
your faith, your willingness, and your survival

13 Comments:

Blogger Heather said...

Way to go!!! It's great to look back and realize how much we've grown.

8:40 PM  
Blogger joyfish said...

i know divorce can be so so hard.

12:07 AM  
Blogger dani said...

it seems michelle that your spirit has been dying to get out and live it's true purpose.

3:35 AM  
Anonymous Marilyn said...

Well said. And isn't it lovely to have this medium to allow your voice to speak? I never cease to be amazed at how REVEALING I feel safe being on my blog...sharing thoughts and feelings I would almost never share with old 'real life' friends.

5:37 AM  
Blogger Deb R said...

I'm glad to see you celebrate You. You deserve it!

6:29 AM  
Blogger gkgirl said...

it is amazing how bad things
can stimulate such growth
and introspection
and renewal...

i have never been divorced
so i can't say that i have
completely
been where you are or were
but i think
that in some senses
i can relate...

6:35 AM  
Blogger kelly said...

isn't it beautiful that we continue to bloom daily...

7:08 AM  
Blogger firstborn studio said...

what a miraculous growth!you are thriving girlfriend!

7:29 AM  
Blogger ESB said...

You've really reclaimed your life....here is a David Whyte poem for you....did you know that he, too, was divorced and had to start from scratch....his poems depict that journey.....


All the True Vows


All the true vows
are secret vows
the ones we speak out loud
are the ones we break.

There is only one life
you can call your own
and a thousand others
you can call by any name you want.

Hold to the truth you make
every day with your own body,
don't turn your face away.

Hold to your own truth
at the center of the image
you were born with.

Those who do not understand
their destiny will never understand
the friends they have made
nor the work they have chosen

nor the one life that waits
beyond all the others.

By the lake in the wood
in the shadows
you can
whisper that truth
to the quiet reflection
you see in the water.

Whatever you hear from
the water, remember,

it wants you to carry
the sound of its truth on your lips.

Remember,
in this place
no one can hear you

and out of the silence
you can make a promise
it will kill you to break,

that way you'll find
what is real and what is not.

I know what I am saying.
Time almost forsook me
and I looked again.

Seeing my reflection
I broke a promise
and spoke
for the first time
after all these years

in my own voice,

before it was too late
to turn my face again.

8:19 AM  
Blogger mati rose said...

how courageous & strong you are... thank you.

10:19 AM  
Blogger acumamakiki said...

Thank you for sharing this glimpse into your past. You've really become the woman you hoped to be and I'm glad that you have the confidence to express yourself, be yourself and BE the beautiful Michelle that you are.

11:55 AM  
Blogger Frankie said...

Thank you so much for sharing your growth. It's often difficult to rekindle your past in this way, and even more difficult to share it with the world, but in doing so, you become the strong woman you so obviously are. Thanks again for putting this up!!

12:30 PM  
Blogger laurenbove said...

Congratulations as you mark the anniversary of a turning point with such grace and beauty.

3:09 PM  

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